Not A Joke
by mcflyPARtYGiRL
Summary: He knew that it was just a joke. But he was sick of it.    Pudd :D


He knew that it was just a joke. But he was sick of it. Every time they got back onto the tour bus, or into the hotel room, without fail they would laugh and joke and try to strip him bare. They'd pick at his clothes like crows until he was naked. Tonight he'd had enough. They'd left the venue and made their way back to the hotel. Once in their shared room they set about trying to get him naked. His shirt was torn from his chest and the gaggle of laughter started. He told them to stop countless times but they kept going. When Harry grabbed for his jeans he shoved Harry, making him stumble.

"I said stop!" Dougie screamed. All three men froze and stared at the youngest member who was breathing deeply, his hands curled into fists at his sides. Then he turned around and stormed off, slamming the door as he went. He angrily pushed the elevator button before stepping inside. As he reached the ground floor he realised he didn't have a shirt or jacket and was going to freeze outside, but he'd be damned if he was going back up there with them. He walked out of the building and the chilling breeze hit his bare chest. Wrapping his arms around himself he turned to his left and started to walk. It seemed that with each step it got colder and colder. He didn't look back, didn't know where he was going, but he needed to get away, as far away as possible for the moment. His feet dragged him forward though his upper body was screaming for warmth. As he was walking through a deserted park he stopped and looked up. The clouds looked like they would burst at any moment and soak him. And within seconds of having the thought it became a reality. A first it was just a few drops of rain but then it became a down pour. He began to shiver at the bitterness of the cold. He left the park but stopped on the side walk. He had no idea which way would take him back to the hotel. He hadn't been watching where he was going, he'd been too angry. He turned back to the park to see if there was any shelter but there wasn't.

"Dougie!" he spun around to see Harry on the other side of the road. With a scowl on his face he watched as Harry crossed the road and when he was only a few metres away opened his arms.

"No!" Dougie jumped away from Harry.

"Dougie I'm sorry..." Harry said softly. They stood there in the rain for a moment, silence hanging between them. "I didn't realise we upset you so much,"

"Yeah, well..." Dougie had so much he wanted to say but couldn't. He'd begun to shiver violently from the cold that was around him. Harry noticed this and stepped forward, pulling Dougie into a hug. Dougie wanted to pull away from Harry's embrace, knowing just what his touch did, but he couldn't because he was enjoying the warmth. A moment later he did pull away, even though it took all of his strength.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked, seeing the tears welling in Dougie's eyes. Dougie just shook his head. "Dougs?"

"Argh! It's you Harry! That's what's wrong!" Dougie said angrily, though truth be told he wasn't angry with Harry, he had pity for Harry. Harry looked shocked. "That came out wrong,"

"How was it supposed to come out?" Harry asked.

"Like...What I meant was...If I was...It's just..." with a frustrated sigh Dougie stopped. Harry reached out and wiped the hair out of Dougie's eyes. Without a thought or hesitation Dougie moved forward and pressed his lips to Harry's but just as quickly he moved back.

"Dougie..." Harry said. He couldn't move, he wasn't sure what had just happened.

"That's why I don't want you doing that stuff to me!" Dougie growled. "Because I like you! And I'm scared one day it's..." Dougie cut himself short, afraid to say the next part of his sentence.

"That what? It's gonna get you excited?" Harry said, almost laughed. Dougie's face flushed red, that was exactly what he'd been afraid of. Harry let out a chuckle which escalated into a fit of laughter, leaving Dougie staring at him wide eyed. When he'd stopped laughing he said "Let's go," and walked from the park and down the side walk. Dougie quickly scurried after him, his mind clouded with confusion. Why had Harry laughed? Why did he not say anything about what had just been said? Why did he seem so casual? As they walked in the rain Dougie started to panic. Was it just his mind playing tricks on his mind or was he walking at a faster pace than normal? Finally they ended up back at the hotel. Dougie silently stepped into the elevator after Harry. Dougie braced himself for an awkward silence, thinking of something to say to lighten the situation but before he had a chance to open his mouth Harry shoved him against the wall and claimed his lips. Dougie was shocked, definitely not something he had expected at all. He went to protest but as he opened his mouth he realised what he'd done and felt Harry's tongue slip into his mouth. At the announcement of the arrival on the floor they were staying on Harry pulled away and walked out. Dougie followed him into the room, face flushed.

"They've gone out," Harry said answering the question Dougie never asked. "I sent them,"

"Harry?" Dougie said. He wanted to know what was going on, it all seemed so wrong, so confusing. Harry looked at Dougie for a moment, his eyes trying to decipher everything that was flashing across Dougie's eyes. Then he moved forward and locked their lips again, grabbing Dougie by the shoulders in an effort to keep him in place. But Dougie wouldn't kiss back and instead pulled away.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not," Harry said as he watched Dougie rub his hands over his face, trying to wipe away the confusion. There was silence for some time. Harry stood watching Dougie who had begun to pace around the room. He would occasionally run a hand over his face, through his hair pulling at the locks as if to keep reminding himself this was reality.

"I don't understand," Dougie said finally. And when he turned to face Harry his face was screwed up in confusion, his eyes filled with tears of unknowing. "I don't want to feel this! I'm not gay! I don't want to be gay! I like women!"

"Don't cry," Harry begged and walked over, realising that all he'd done was upset Dougie. In his head he imagined they'd be in the throes of making out or making love by now, he never imagined what could happen if Dougie didn't feel the same way. He reached out but Dougie battered his arms away.

"I'm not gay! I'm not! I'm...I'm not...gay," Dougie had broken into full blown tears, his body shaking. Harry grabbed him and pulled him close, not caring if Dougie didn't want the contact. Dougie struggled for a moment, trying to get away from the embrace but the emotion was stronger and restricted him from doing so. With the failed attempt he sighed to himself and leant into Harry's chest. He felt the older man rub circles on his back in a comforting way.

"Why? It's nothing to be ashamed about," Harry said soothingly. Dougie kept sobbing and shook his head in disagreement. "Why be ashamed if only you and I know?"

"Because..." Dougie pulled away from Harry and chocked back a sob. "Because, I am not..."

"Stop it, alright. Just stop..." Harry said. He didn't mean to sound agitated but hearing Dougie so scared of his own feelings, not trusting himself, it was not what he ever wanted to hear.

"Stop? It's alright for you to say...I'm not a confident as you," Dougie said and pulled away. Harry let his hands drop to his sides. He looked at the man in front of him. He could see that Dougie was fighting a battle within his heart. There was no way that he was going to win on his own decision. Harry knew he needed to show Dougie how much he needed him, but how to show him was still just a blank piece of paper in his mind. Kissing him didn't work and talking was going to be a failed effort. Maybe he should just leave it because Dougie was old enough to make up his own mind.

"If you wanna talk I'm here," Harry said and walked into the bedroom. He sat on the bed and crossed his legs. Seconds ticked by which turned into minutes. But it wasn't long before there was a knock on the bedroom door and Dougie walked in. His face was stained with tears, his hair falling across his eyes making him look even sadder.

"Can we talk?" Dougie asked in a whisper.

"Of course," Harry said. Dougie sat down next to Harry and rubbed a hand over his face.

"It's ok to be confused," Harry said. "When I first figured it out I thought it was just a faze, but then the feelings didn't go away and I thought..Hey, maybe this is how it's supposed to be,"

"But...I'm...I don't know if I'm...You know..." Dougie mumbled.

"Listen..." Harry started and put his arm around Dougie's shoulders. "You don't have to tell anybody else, it can be our secret...And when you've figured it out and when you're ready, come back and tell me then we can sort things out from there, ok?"

"Ok," Dougie said. Then he turned into Harry's chest and mumbled his thanks. Harry let a smile fall upon his face. He lay down and pulled Dougie with him. As they laid in the silence their fingers entwined and then they fell asleep.


End file.
